Top Five Characters Too Adorable for Haunted Houses

I love adorable characters but I wasn’t expecting to talk about them this week???? (Since everything is wicked and haunted and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.) And yet here we are, celebrating the CUTEST OF THE WORLD.

Top Five Tuesday is hosted by Bionic Book Worm 🙂

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disappointing books

1. Annika from The Girl He Used To Know

Annika is an autistic librarian with the *BIGGEST, PUREST HEART IN THIS WORLD.* I love her. But I don’t think she’d love haunted houses???? For example, when someone yells at her she nearly cries (which I relate tooooooooo).

We’re going to a bookstore instead.

The Girl He Used to Know

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2. Cress from The Lunar Chronicles


Cress is, objectively, the most precious person of all time. She loves adventures and she’s a complete badass when it comes to saving the world and protecting her friends. HOWEVER. A haunted house might serve as a metaphor for her childhood locked in that tiny spaceship?? Where a wicked caretaker “”haunted”” her.

Screw haunted houses I’m asking Cress to teach me STEM.

Cress (The Lunar Chronicles, #3)

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3. Julian from A List of Cages

Julian is a boy who goes through a lot of sh*t because his guardian is pure evil. ANd he’s so young, he’s only a freshman in high school!!!!!! + HE DOES SCHOOL PLAYS (even though he’s nervous and shy). The rest of his life deserves to be giant sweaters and rainbows and strawberry tea.

A List of Cages

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4. Simon from Simon v. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

Simon would be so scared of a haunted house. And I would say that he can just bring his boyfriend and hold his hand adorably. But his boyfriend would be equally scared. it would be a mess, they’re just too pure.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (Creekwood, #1)

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5. Patroclus from The Song of Achilles

Pat hates scary circumstances. Achilles would probably love a haunted house, but Pat would be afraid. Pat deserves to be happy. And carefree. And enjoying his life in a coffee shop AU where nothing bad will ever happen to him. LKSDJFLKS JUST PROTECT HIM.

The Song of Achilles

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Who is your favorite //cute// character? Do you like haunted houses?

Do you love Buzzfeed Unsolved?????

IT’S SO GREAT. I’m 100% a Boogara.



26 thoughts on “Top Five Characters Too Adorable for Haunted Houses

  1. Olivia @ Purely Olivia says:

    I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS POST AS SOON AS I SAW JULIAN. (Just kidding, I loved this post before I even clicked on it. But it just got even better when I saw my precious child on here. 😉 ) I’m 10000% here for anything about A List of Cages, and especially for anything about Julian or Adam. ALSO, NOW I’M IMAGINING SIMON AND BLUE IN A HAUNTED HOUSE AND IT’S JUST TOO SWEET AND PURE. And now I’m fangirling…wonderful post as always, Malanie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • malanielovesfiction says:

      OMG ILYYYYYY c: c: c: c:
      but that’s actually how I handle posts, if Julian is even remotely mentioned I immediately cry!!!????? he is so cute. he deserves love and affection ****when Adam refused to leave his side????? and encouraged + nurtured him like the best sibling in the entire world???? IT WAS TOO MUCH.
      also I need my Blue + Simon haunted house fan fic right awayyyyyyy

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beth (Reading Every Night) says:

    I haven’t read all the books you featured this week but the ones I have I highly, 100% agree with the characters you picked who are too adorable for haunted houses. After everything that happened to her throughout her childhood I just want to wrap Cress up in blankets and keep her safe from the world, there’s no way I would put her in a haunted house. 🙂
    Same goes for Patroclus actually, after the way The Song of Achilles ended I want to only imagine happy things for him and Achilles. No haunted houses at all.
    Part of me feels like if there was a haunted house in their town as part of like a carnival or something Simon and Bram would definitely go in, but yeah they’d both be terrified and Simon would use it as an excuse to old Bram’s hand or something. 🙂 ❤
    Great post Malanie, and I loved your picks for this topic too. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • malanielovesfiction says:

      OH GOD THAT’S SO TRUE!!! Cress had such a horrible childhood and now she needs blankets, and I would personally knit her several, with yarn the same shade as Thorne’s eyes ❤
      ++if Achilles and Patroclus are not cuddling non-stop in the afterlife, I'm demanding a refund
      +++CAN YOU IMAGINE SIMON SWOOPING IN ADORABLY TO COMFORT BRAM??? I want a sequel now just for this scene

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Marie says:

    Ahh Malanie I love your choices here, Cress is so precious and one of my favorite characters of ALL times, really, she deserves ALL the hugs and love. And julian, oh julian, I think I’m going to cry because he is too sweet and needs rainbows and cupcakes and that’s it ahh ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • malanielovesfiction says:

      TYSM MARIEEE!! c: c: c: c: Cress inspired me so much when I first read her book, because she was so sweet and loved opera and being nerdy and was shyyy????? ALL THE SOFT THINGS???? I love soft characters and she is the definition of both bad*ss AND adorable slkdjflksjf ❤ ❤
      also Julian is too much for me, I still blink back tears when I think of that poor rainbow of joy??????

      Liked by 1 person

  4. may says:

    this post made me so soft flkdajfla CRESS IS LITERALLY THE MOST PRECIOUS HUMAN TO EVER EXIST. the girl i used to know sounds so amazing im literally going to add it to my tbr right this second.

    what an adorable list, great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • malanielovesfiction says:

      CRESS IS MY BUTTERCUP RAINBOW OMG sklfjdslk i just love her so muchh??? like. excuse me marissa meyer where is one more Cress + Thorne book for my fangirl needs? I’ll even take a book where it’s just Cress grocery shopping or something.
      also The Girl I Used to Know was so sweet and pure??? her boyfriend jonathan is 1000% a jerk. and I wanted to take away Annika bc she deserves better (*cough* //me//*cough*)
      BUT OVERALL SUCH A CUTE STORY. I jsut want more librarians in books ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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